Scan Medical Insurance

Do you think it is wrong of me to ask my ex to sign over his rights?

My ex is a decent enough guy I guess. He sends a child support check each month and doesn't complain about it (to me), he also carries health/dental on our son. My ex lives hundreds of miles away. Our son lives with me and my husband (his stepdad), my husband also provides health/dental/vision insurance in addition the the fact he is here for my son. Our son is 7 years old, my ex (his daddy) has not seen him since he was 2, and really hasn't made an attempt to see him. He has not called since July 2 to talk to our son (our son's bday), and before that it was Feb or March when he called. Our son considers my husband, his stepdad, his daddy. He says he has 2 dads, but my husband is his real dad because he spends time with him..... I have found several areas of concern in my breast. I'm kind of scared of the outcome. My son does not know his daddy or his daddy's side of the family at all (no one has been to visit or even really call). My son knows all of my husband's side of the family and is very close with them, also all my family is here too. If this is something serious, I want to ask my ex to sign over his parental rights and have my husband adopt my son, so that he will be his "legal" daddy and guardian.... Is this wrong of me to ask? to the guy with the dad's group: My ex is in the Army. We met here when he was stationed here. I did not move my son away from him. And the last time he got to visit with out son I took our son to see him. And as far as court ordered anything... well there isn't. We settled an amount amongst ourselves, and I know that the amount we settled on is well below what the courts would have issued. Sometimes I wonder if he pays what we agreed on to keep from having to pay more. Our son is more comfortable with my husband... his stepdad because my husband is here for him. And as far as child support continuing.. I'm not really worried about that. My concern is my son's well being should something happen

Public Comments

1. Nope. Go for it.
2. Go for it, but there won't be any child support after that.
3. It is not wrong to ask - it would be wrong to expect. None of us know your circumstances or those of your child's father and there are many possible reasons why this type of situation can develop, so it would be wrong to judge him (or you). You should talk to your ex in a calm and open manner, ideally face to face if that's possible - explain your concerns and see what he says. He will always be your child's father, nothing will change that, and one day it will be your son's decision as to how well they come to know each-other. For the moment just talk to your ex, it's a reasonable conversation to have.
4. Is the attempts he has not made is paying thousands of dollars to get court order visitation enforced when his child was moved away from him to make it hard for him to see his child?
5. You have enough valid reasons, but you should ask him first. Give him the opportunity to step up and live up to your expectations of what a father is. This way, you can proceed with a clear conscience that you did everything you could to promote his relationship with his son. Good luck and I hope you are ok!
6. I realize that you have very valid health concerns right now. If I were you, I would get through the initial diagnosis phase and then start considering my options. Your husband is an exceptional man to step in and parent your child and that should be factored into the equation. However, as lacking in parental skills as the child's father has been, he deserves a say in this matter. When you have a diagnosis, good or bad, talk to the man. Tell him your concerns for the child and the future. If he feels the same way you do, go ahead and seek termination of his rights. I would, however, consider keeping the door open for your son. No matter how he feels as a seven year old, there will come a point in his life when he will want to know more about his history and that will include his biological father.
7. Its not wrong, he may be happy to be off the hook, simply because with the distance, he's paying for a kid, he'll likely never had a good relationship with. However, don't have a cow if he says no. Its his right.