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secondary bone cancer, how long do you have left after initial diagnosis?

one of my relatives has been diagnosed with secondary bone cancer (from the breast). She found out when her hip broke back in june this year. she then had a full body x-ray scan, which showed the cancer was widespread, shes having radiotherapy at the moment, but we are all preparing ourselves for the obvious. how long before we have to say our goodbyes? thanks for everyones answers especially those who have gone through similar things

Public Comments

1. Don't ask that just spend as much time as you can with your loved one. Now is the time yo make new memories.
2. There's no hard and fast answer to this one. Basically, be there for her here and now and take every day as it comes. It's cliche - but a cliche for a reason. Enjoy you relative while she's around rather than wait for the day that she isn't.
3. Everyone is different, each situation and person are unique. Many studies have been done on the power of the mind and how positive thoughts and having positive people around can have a great effect on people. Be there for your relative, be supportive and enjoy what time you have left. I am not a real big believer on doctors who say 3 months, 6 months, etc. I have seen people die sooner or even much later that originally told by doctors.
4. Every case is different, and no one on here will know enough about this case to give you a useful answer. You need to speak to the health professionals. Before I lost my Father and Sister to cancer, I was not religious. I am not religious now, but I say prayers for those who sit in that knowledge of approaching death for no other reason than I have felt that terrible loneliness we feel when we cannot save those we love. I will say a prayer for you and hope you don't mind that I do. Any one else who feels like it ...do the same. I can't say how often or when I will think of your situation when I am watching the leaves in Kent go through their autumn display....but I will...for no other reason than I am human...and I understand my fellow humans.
5. I am really sorry to hear about your relative . This awful illness took my mother away from us in June 2000. Initially she had a small op for bladder cancer and the prognosis was good . However within 6 months she had to return to hospital and it was discovered that it had come back and she had secondary bone cancer. The consultant told us there was no hope and in trying to prolong her life he gave her massive dose of Chemo which absolutely floored her . She passed away within 3 weeks of this treatment with a massive stroke because her body could not recover from the chemo It sounds , and I hope , it is a bit more optimistic for your relative as they are still at radiotherapy stage . Who knows it might go into remission for a while I wish your relative well , and it sounds as if you and the rest of the family are going to be a good support for them. Good Luck
6. Some people who have bone secondaries are able to survive for years with a very good quality of life and just the occasional treatment . However some cancers do progress more quickly. The length of survival depends on the type of the primary cancer, the rate of progress of the cancer, and the response to treatment. The doctors should be able to give you more information about this.
7. I am very sorry to hear of your families plight. I went through exactly the same with my mother almost 10 years ago, Im sorry the prognosis is not good, but all you can do is be with your relative and comfort them for as long as possible..... my thoughts go out to you and your family.
8. i am sorry this is happening to your relative, you can only go on what the doctors say is the expected time but don't take this as Gospel, our close friend was told he had secondary cancer back in may last year, he was sent home to die in November and we were told that he wouldn't make Christmas, but he fought on until July this year, we believe it was his state of mind to do the things he wanted to do that helped, the best thing i can advise is except it now that your relative is going to die and then spend all the time you have left, building happy memories and showing them how much they are loved, enjoy the time you have left with them, the radiotherapy is buying you all the time you need to find acceptance, she is not dying but living at the moment and i am sure that she would not want you all to spend what time is left feeling sad, except that the inevitable will happen sometime and make every second of her life count, let her go out with life and love in her soul, i am sorry it is a cruel world, but when the time comes you will be able to find the strength to cope with this tragic loss, and then you will be ready to say goodbye, i am sorry i can't give you a time limit but just take every day as it comes and enjoy the time you all have left together. my thought go out to you and your family.
9. hmmm, if she's not ready to say the goodbyes, you shouldn't be either! She may feel like fighting, if she's undergoing radiotherapy. Who the f knows if she won't be one of the slim % that make it or at least live longer?
10. Well I was diagnosed with Renal cancer 11 years ago and have had secondary bone cancer for the last 6 years...I have had three operations on my leg and have had implants etc and am still here and hope to be for a long time yet...... As a cancer sufferer I hate his 'how long have you got' business....Your relative wants support, and positive thoughts around her, not people coming to say their goodbyes...there will be time for that....so just be normal and plan for the future, no matter how stupid it may sound....positive thought goes a long way.
11. From my own family experience I can tell you that even the doctors can only guess at it. In the meantime I agree with many of the other posters - make the time left count for her and don't be frightened to show your feelings to her - or feel that you have to pretend that its not happening. You may not be able to save her, but there is a lot that you can do for her as a family - such as speaking up for her when she cannot do so herself
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13. I am sorry to read your sad news. Sadly there is never a specific time limit with cancer. My dad had lung cancer with secondarys in his hip, ribs and spine....they gave him radio therapy too and even tried a course of chemo...not to help prolong his life in any way but to try and make him more comfortable..unfortuantely it didn't really help.. Dad was given 12 months to live 'if he was lucky' and he passed away 7 months later. Even then the cancer took us all by surprise, he was in the final weeks of his life this we knew, the consultant said he had 2-4 weeks to live on the Tuesday, he passed away peacefully the next day quite out of the blue really...so it comes when it comes. My advice to you and your family? Take the time NOW while you can to say what you want, to spend time with your loved one, to support them and each other, these hours don't come back. I am thankful that I had a bad feeling about dad and, being close was with him throughout his illness any way, but had had 'that talk' had said all that needed to be said and knew he had heard, he had felt and he knew how much I loved him, how grateful I was for having him in my life, how much I would miss him and how I was ready to let him find peace, in return, this beautiful man who had been such a wonderful father to me had given me his final words of love, encouragement and guidance. I miss my dad more than words can say, his death has had a most profound affect upon my whole existence, it has left me questioning things I believed in and left me with an emptiness that will never go away....I am just so blessed to have had him in my life and to know that his passing was peaceful and dignified. I wish you all well and my thoughts are with you all....remember don't put things off for fear of upsetting anyone, go with your gut instinct, stay close and spend time....bless you all xxxxx